An reluctant addiction

I hate Coffee.

I am not one of those apex humans who pride themselves as superior to the slaves of caffeine. However, I try to keep myself as far away as possible from coffee, as past experiences revealed that getting way too excited at 2am sure got the work done, but the next morning I would find myself grunting of self-deprivation and my self-esteem sliding to a new record-low. It’s kind of like sugar-high, or an inflationary gap. Thus from a sustainable development point of view, I always try to limit caffeine consumption. One night of overflowing productivity can result in a week of fatigue, self-questioning (“why would I drink coffee last Wednesday, I told myself not to do it.” ), fear of future (“wait, am I addicted to caffeine now? “), and above all, a deep sense of Weltschmerz (“I’m so pathetic, if only I could have planned things well ahead, like not binge-watching “The Blue Planet” last Saturday night. Do orcas ever need coffee to catch up on killing the next adult crab-eater seal? No they don’t. Because they are more self-disciplined than I am. “)


(pc: Google)

That’s why when I woke up this morning with a headache, I felt like standing on the other side of a collapsing wall. I know I’m doomed. Last week was filled with assignments and an extremely important exam for me (which I did way better than I expected, 24.5/25). Then, in other to survive last week, I made a decision to get excited the entire week (i.e. drink coffee every morning to avoid the fatigue caused by stress) and deal with the negative side-effects, like mentioned above, together this weekend. I had this sweet and naive assumption that if I just slept through this entire weekend (thanks to not having anything due next week) to reset my system, I would be a golden, sensible, happy human being next Monday, free of caffeine and light as wind.

If only everything went as planned.

Addiction in general makes me very uncomfortable: I don’t want to rely on anything else to be sane. Isn’t that what the Enlightenment thinking’s all about?

Hence the title. I’ve heard about the prevailing arguments that coffee is not that bad for your health, especially in an environment demanding constant work and responses. I guess trading the freedom of coffee or not every morning with not missing deadlines are constantly made every day by a large percentage of people on campus. But it always felt like a pact with demon to me.

Despite all the complaining, I’ve been drinking coffee while writing this post. Maybe my dream of living in a Monastery in Ireland after retirement won’t come true after all: coffee counts as temptations, right?

Screen Shot 2017-10-29 at 11.01.24 AM.png

Or not, pc:



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